My 6½ Cents: Archive Page 8

Entry 36: 6 January 2003, 8:48pm

Back in the second year of "Friends" the gang all came up with their Lists. The List consisted of the five celebrities that your significant other would allow you to sleep with. If such Lists existed in real life, occasional CNN Headline News anchor Holly Firfer (left) would be at the top of mine. Most of the guys at work would have a different anchor, Rudi Bakhtiar, on their List, but for me it would be Holly all the way. When she's on the air, well, not much else gets done around here.

The other four, in no particular order:

--Jennifer Aniston from "Friends". Despite her character's name on the show (after a failed relationship I'm not that crazy anymore about anybody named Rachel; another story for another day) she's still one of the hottest women on television.

--Elizabeth Hurley. She may not be the best movie star out there (let's face it, none of her movies have really been Oscar material), but she's sure a lot better-looking than Julia Roberts.

--Jillian Barberie. Her regular "day" job is as the weathergirl for the morning news at Fox's L.A. affiliate. An additional hour of that newscast has since been made for nationwide syndication (it appears in Tulsa weekdays at noon on Fox 23). She also does the weather for Fox's NFL pregame shows.

Choice #5 might pose a problem, as that choice has yet to turn 18. I'm not sure if revealing the name over the Internet would violate any laws, but I'm not gonna take any chances. (Besides, I wouldn't actually want to do anything until Choice #5 turns 18; I do know the laws regarding that.) So until that day arrives, my List will include the First Alternate, Lisa Kudrow. Times like this I wish the List was ten names long.

Of course, before the List can become official, I'd have to find a significant other to agree to it. And at the rate I'm going, Choice #5 will have grandchildren sooner.

Entry 37: 12 January 2003, 11:42am

On last Wednesday's edition of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" a contestant went home with $64,000 after passing on the $125,000 question. Given how the question-writers screwed it up, I don't blame him one bit. Here's the question:

On the 1980s sitcom Benson, Benson becomes lieutenant governor of what state?

I don't know what the three so-called "wrong" choices were, but they claimed the correct answer is "Connecticut".

Whatever they were drinking that day, lemme have some of it.

I watched the show regularly when it was originally on, I have have since seen them all again in reruns, and I can tell you that they deliberately made a point of not only not specifying the state, but even keeping it vague as to what part of the country they were in (the state contained geographic and geologic features that are exclusive to far-separate parts of the country). Whenever someone asked me what state they were in (granted, it didn't happen too often), I'd always tell them "East Dakota".

I can understand how these "Millionaire" numnuts can get it wrong: Soap, the series Benson was spun off from, did take pace in Connecticut. But if the writers had done their homework thoroughly, like they're supposed to, they would have noticed that, when Burt Campbell was the town sheriff on Soap, he met the governor of the state, who wanted Burt to work for him. This governor, while likely a lot more scatterbrained that any real governor of Connecticut has ever been, was definitely not Governor Gatling from Benson.

Nutshell: Soap and Benson did not take place in the same state. Benson was not Lieutenant Governor of Connecticut. The "Millionaire" writers need to be fired for getting a question so blatantly wrong, and the contestant who passed on this question needs to be brought back for another shot at the $125,000 question.

Entry 38: 14 January 2003, 5:42pm

The NFL needs to change its overtime policy. I, too, was upset at Pittsburgh's loss last Saturday night. Not for the same reason the coach was (the refs called "running into the kicker" and there was absolutely no doubt about that call), but because Pittsburgh didn't even get a chance at the ball.

It is becoming more and more common for the team that wins the coin toss in overtime to score on their first possession. This is very unfair for the other team, beacuse it basically means they lost due to a simple flip of a coin. There are several ways this could be rectified. Other football leagues have tried variations on overtime, any of which could easily, and fairly, be applied to the NFL. Here are three (in each case, Team A is the team who gets first posession of the ball in overtime):

1) The NCAA Variation -- Team A starts at the opponent's 25-yard line and tries to score. There is no overtime clock, but the down clock continues as normal. After Team A's possession is over (score, turnover, or loss on downs), Team B starts at the 25 & tries to score. If Team B beats Team A's current score, game ends and Team B wins. If Team A has the higher score after Team B's possession, game ends & Tema A wins. If the score is still tied after Team B's turn at the ball, each side gets another possession.

I have hated this version ever since the NCAA started it. The simple fact that there is no game clock sorta defeats the purpose, and appears to slow down the action. Plus, the only time the special teams are needed would be for field goal attempts. Players who are in only for punts and kickoffs can go on to the locker room and take their showers, 'cause they won't bee needed anymore. Don't seem right.

2) The Arena Football Variation -- coin toss, kickoffs, and play using the enitre field is just like it is in regulation, but scoring follows the NCAA version. Each side is guaranteed one possession. If the game is still tied after each side has had a possession, they each get another one. Play continues this way until the quarter is up or the score is lopsided.

This is my personal favorite, because it is closest to the rules as they are now. Only difference is that, using Saturday's playoff game as an example, Pittsburgh would've gotten a possession after Tennessee's field goal. If Pittsburgh had run the ball in on that possession and scored a touchdown, they'd be the ones going to Oakland this week. I would, however, limit the variation to one guaranteed possession for each side. After Team A starts their second possession, and both offenses and defenses have been on the field in overtime, then it should be Anything Goes.

3) The WLAF Variation -- back before the current NFL-sanctioned World League in Europe, the NFL tried a different version, the World League of American Football, with teams in both Europe AND the U.S. In this incarnation, an overtime game ended immediately only when one team led another by at least four points. Otherwise, the entire fifteen minutes were played. If, at that point, one team was ahead, that team was the victor.

In other words, it's not good enough just to have an accurate kicker, because just kicking a field goal would not immediately end the game. You wanna stop the game and win it right now, you gotta score a touchdown.

Something needs to be done to the overtime system. I'm just afraid changes aren't gonna happen until a Super Bowl victor is determined by the toss of a coin

Entry 39: 22 January 2003, 10:19am

Sorry I haven't been around for awhile. Been under the weather for over a week now, just can't seem to shake this bug.

The hot water tank finally fritzed out for good; the base was so rusted that water was leaking out & putting out the pilot light. Guess I should be surprised that it lasted as long as it did: based on some things my dad told me about the previous owner & some of the stuff he had done to the basement (where the tank is), that tank was probably pushing 30. It has now been replaced, and I have to say I have never enjoyed a long hot shower more than I did my first one using the new tank.

In a couple of weeks I go back to working nights for two months, so during that time I won't be able to go out & take pictures for Roadklahoma. Therefore I've been spending as much time as I can during my January weekends getting as many pictures of as many endpoints as I can. Just one more trip and I will have every state highway endpoint in the Northeastern Quadrant of Oklahoma (if you split up the state like everyone else does, using I-35 & I-40 as your separators).

The more I go out on these road trips the more I realize how much of this state I haven't seen. I have lived in this area my entire life and I had never been to Ponca City.

Didn't miss much.

Lotsa refineries. Big deal, I can go three miles down the road from my house and see refineries. What actually interested me more about that area of the state was just south of Ponca City, where I was driving and saw my first-ever cotton field. I never even realized Oklahoma had cotton fields.

Ponca City, Enid, Wakita (the town destroyed in the movie Twister), Shawnee, lotsa places in this state I've never been to before. Off all the places I've been to so far, though, my favorite would have to be Guthrie. I fell in love with this large town/small city the moment I drove into it. If I ever had to be relocated from Tulsa and was able to choose where I'd want to move, Guthrie would be my choice.

Last week a brand new highway opened up. OK-97T is a new three-mile truck route that loops around the west side of Sand Springs, and cuts a good ten minutes off the trip to the north side of town. A news report the other day talked about how much the city officials are ready to get that area developed. They actually hope that road will help to double the city's population (currently 18,000) within a decade.

I sure hope those development plans fall through. The road as it exists now has a beautiful scenic view of the surrounding area. Development would ruin that. Plus, while that road may be able to handle an additional 18,000 residents, the rest of the roads in Sand Springs most definitely can't. It's hard enough trying to suport the 18,000 they've already got.

Sand Springs grows up too fast, it's gonna self-destruct. And Tulsa's gonna be the one paying the price. Mark my words.

The extension to the Gilcrease Expressway is almost complete. Another recent news report said this new portion should be ready to open by March. The expressway will be extended from it's current terminus at US-75 on to Lewis. Two years of construction and slowdowns on 75 are almost complete. Two years.

To go an extra half mile!

And people wonder why I-44 hasn't been widened yet.

I remember last spring and summer how all the sports experts were ridiculing the Tampa Bay Buccaneears management. They gave up several draft picks and millions of dollars, just to get a coach. Some were calling it the dumbest trade in the history of sports. Oakland got four draft picks, including two first-round choices, and several million dollars. In return, Tampa Bay got Jon Gruden.

And now both teams are in the Super Bowl. Who's lookin' dumb now?

I actually hope Tampa Bay wins it. They've been my team since they went 0-14 their first year in the NFL. If they win then I can finally go on and start rooting for someone else.

VCR Alert: the last Smallville in February officially hands the super-reigns over to the next generation, as movie Superman Christopher Reeve guest stars. He shows up to progress the backstory, informing teenage Clark Kent about his Kryptonian origins. If it does nothing else, it'll finally allow people on the show to refer to those "green meteor rocks" by their proper name. (Last night's show was pretty good too. Clark accomplished another super-first: leaping his first tall building in a single bound. I also find it hilarious that this Clark, the teenager destined to become the greatest super-hero of all time, has vertigo! If you want to catch this episode, the WB is repeating it Sunday afternoon at 4pm.)

VCR Alert II: If you enjoyed the original Rod serling Twilight Zone episodes, then the episode of the new incarnation that airs on February 19th is not to be missed.

The first story that night will be a remake of the classic episode "The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street," a morality story about paranoia run rampant. Just replace "communist" from the original episode with "terrorist" today and the story still works.

Another classic episode of the original series was "It's a Good Life," where Billy ("Lost in Space") Mumy played a boy who could make people vanish to a place he calls "the cornfield" just by thinking it. This was one of the stories that was remade for "Twilight Zone: The Movie" back in the 80s.

The other Twilight Zone story to air on the 19th is a sequel to that original tale. in "It's Still a Good Life," Bill ("Babylon 5") Mumy reprises his role forty years later, as a father who discovers his six-year-old daughter (Mumy's real-life daughter, Liliana) is starting to display the same power. Cloris Leachman will also return in her original role as Mumy's mother.

Well, that's about it for now. Still have to create pages for highways I took pictures of yesterday. Back next week.

Entry 40: 28 January 2003, 12:02pm

Finally, Tampa Bay has won the Super Bowl. Now I can finally stop having them as my favorite team and start rooting for someone else. Just like last year in NASCAR, since Tony Stewart won the championship I can now move on to another driver.

So: Go Jamie MacMurray! And Go Saints!

VCR Alert: one of this year's cancelled fall shows, Birds of Prey, is returning for one more night, so the WB can exhaust all the episodes they paid for. Suffering from the not-being-given-enough-time-to-shake-out-the-kinks syndrome becoming all too common on network television these days, this pseudo-sequel to the Batman saga was not picked up beyond its original 13-episode order, the common length for a new series (if it does well, an additional nine episodes are tacked on to the order to make a full season).

What makes this occasion interesting, though, is that the producers knew the series order would not be extended before they made Episode 13, so they were able to write a finale show and wrap up the series.

Episode 12 of Birds of Prey airs at 7pm CST February 19th on The WB, while Episode 13 airs an hour later. Unfortunately, that puts it directly opposite the Twilight Zone episode mentioned in the previous entry (as well as, I believe, the finale of The Bachelorette). Hope you got more than one VCR.

VCR Alert II: If you're interested in classic game shows, Friday night/Saturday morning's I've Got a Secret on Game Show Network (4:20am CST) is not to be missed. It's the last episode of the series' original 12-year prime-time run. As is usually the case these days (such as Birds of Prey), when a series goes in knowing that the last episode they make for the season will be the last episode ever, they typically try to go out with a bang. I mean, there is a reason why the last episode of M*A*S*H is the most-watched program of all time.

I have no idea what happened on that final episode of Secret, but it's still worth a look-see.

As I'm writing this, I've got the Special Edition DVD of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring playing in the background on the TV. I never read the books when I was younger (I was more into The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in high school; more on that in two more entries, and those of you who know of H2G2 will know why I'm picking that entry). Not paying that close attention to the movie, but the pieces I am noticing looks pretty good. But it did give me a thought:

When it came time to air the two original Godfather movies on network TV back in the late-seventies, NBC took all the footage that had been edited out for time, reedited the whole thing chronologically, then aired the movies as a weekly one-hour series.

The theatrical version of LOTR:TFOTR was three hours long. An additional half-hour was added for the Special Edition, and it's probably safe to assume there's at least another half-hour's worth of footage that didn't make the S.E. That makes four hours for this movie. Assume there would be four hours' worth of footage for each of the two sequels, and we've got a twelve-hour saga.

Chop the saga down into 40-minute blocks (plus 20 minutes of commercials, standard for network television these days), and presto! An eighteen-episode series, just sitting there ready for some network go grab it. If it contained footage that didn't appear in any other format, we're talking a sure hit.

Time-Life video has started releasing The Dick Van Dyke Show on DVD, in sequential order (link). The first DVD DVD (and how many times is that kind of coincidental initialling gonna pop up?) in the series only costs $9.99 for the first four episodes, with additional DVDs (4 eps each) running $24.99. Each episode is broadcast in its original, uncut format, with several scenes that haven't been shown on television since the series' original run in the sixties!

While I would recommend the entire series of DVDs only to those who really loved the show, I recommend thie first one to everybody, because it contains an unadvertised bonus: the original pilot for the series. Titled Head of the Family, the pilot starred series creator Carl Reiner, who would go on to play Alan Brady on the series. According to legend, Reiner shipped the pilot around to various studios, who all rejected it, until one producer told him what the problem was: the main character needed to be someone the audience would love and be sympathetic to, and Reiner couldn't pull that off. So he recast the part we had written especially for himself, and the rest is history.

(Trivia: if the other finalist for the role of Rob Petrie had gotten the part instead of Van Dyke, the series might have been called The Johnny Carson Show.)

I would try to get the entire series myself, except I'm already working on a different series in the same uncut, 4-eps-per-DVD format: Hogan's Heroes, available from Columbia House (link). The first DVD of this series is also hereby being recommended for everybody, again because of the pilot episode. The only episode of this half-hour series that was filmed in black-and-white clocks in at thirty-and-a-half minutes. Translation: the episode as it appears on this DVD contains scenes that have never been shown on television, not even in its original airing!

Wanna know how fast your internet connection currently is? Go here and find out. When I went to the site just now to copy the link I tested my connection and am currently running at 1001 Kps, an extermely fast connection, even for my DSL.

Found it interesting that a lot of people used their TiVo and ReplayTV, whose greatest asset is the fact that you can easily skip the commercials, was being used by many people Sunday night to skip the Super Bowl and watch the commercials.

Meanwhile, I've heard several complaints on various talk shows that Shania Twain (left) was lip-synching her performance during the Super Bowl Halftime Show. To which any red-blooded American male who saw the performance would respond, "Who was watching her lips?!"