Entry 1: 4 October 2002, 2:04am

As my closest friends know, Friends is one of my favorite TV shows. It's one of currently only two shows where I won't pick up the phone if someone calls, no matter who it is (the other one being Enterprise). Last night the second episode of the ninth (and apparently last) season aired. In it, Chandler fell asleep during a staff meeting and when he awoke found that he had unknowingly agreed to be transferred to (ta, da da DAAAA) Tulsa, or as he called it when he tried to convince Monica to move there with him, "the Paris of Oklahoma." Looks like we've found us a new motto. "Oil Capitol of the World" sure doesn't cut it anymore. Although the closest thing we have to an Eiffel Tower is the Golden Driller, an image of which appears on this site's home page. (BTW, I've heard some of what happens in Episodes 3 & 4. Nutshell: Chandler moves to Tulsa, Monica doesn't. Looks like it's not gonna last long, though. By episode 7 it appears that Chandler's back in New York.)

Gonna be interesting to see what shots are used for Tulsa, and if they do any homework at all about the place. Last time I can recall Tulsa featured in a television show it was over twenty years ago, in a very short-lived series called Beyond Westworld (it was a spring filler meant to last five weeks, but the show was so bad it was pulled after three). The police cars were the wrong color, the officer's uniforms were the wrong color (standard TV blue instead of Tulsa olive), and I seem to remember that it wasn't even the Tulsa skyline.

Now, a couple of things about me & the website. First of all, welcome. I am not a professional writer nor do I have any intention to become one. It occured to me the other day while I was talking to myself in the shower about how it's determined which NFL games CBS gets and which go to FOX (which I'll get to one day) that I know all this stuff, most of it useless, and have nobody to tell it to. Or rather, those that I do know wouldn't be interested in hearing it.

I had this site out on the Internet basically collecting dust, except for a few weather pages which I most likely can't link to for legal reasons (if you saw it you'd know why), a trivia site I lost interest in updating nearly two years ago (the archive page of which can still be reached from here) and a Friends site that showed which pieces of dialog were cut for their airing in syndication. Quickly gave up that one when I noticed that the cuts would vary from station to station.

So, after seeing the site of one of my favorite writers, Mark Evanier (he did the Garfield TV series, the last good program to have appeared on any of the Big Three's Saturday morning lineups), I decided to try the same thing. I'm not gonna be nearly as good as him (as for instance, this article took me over an hour to write), but at least maybe somebody will finally get to hear some of the stuff that's been floating around my head for so long. And who knows? Some if it may actually one day be useful to someone.

Not to differ with those who have come before me, but you're not crazy if you talk to yourself. You only start going in that direction if you answer yourself. But if you answer by saying "Huh?", then...


Entry 2: 4 October 2002, 3:50pm

    The Official Funniest Joke in the World was announced the other day in London. After going over some 40,000 jokes, a group of research scientists came up with the joke that seemed to have the most universal appeal. Other jokes are bound to be funnier, but only to a select group of people. Supposedly, this one is funny to everybody.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Hey, I liked it. First two, three million times I heard it. Still gets a chuckle though. Oh, by the way, here's what was selected as the runner-up:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!'' he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!''

Entry 3: 5 October 2002, 5:45am

A couple more things about this season's Friends: after four years of a 35-second opening sequence, it looks like they've gone back to the original 45-second version. Probably 'cause it's the last year of the show. Also, if you're setting your VCR timers to record the show, be sure to add a few minutes to the end of your timer. Each of the last two episodes ran 2-3 minutes past the bottom of the hour, and the rumor is they're gonna do that for the rest of the season. Lets the network get in a couple more of those all-expensinve commercials.

BTW, I do watch other shows. I've just spent the last eight hours watching the Key to Time season of Doctor Who that just came out on DVD this week (first Who shows that appeared on DVD here in the States before they arrived in the UK homeland). And this weekend on the Boomerang cable channel, as well as every remaining weekend this month, is every Scooby Doo cartoon ever made. (At least that's how they're advertising it. They're not including those made-for-video movies made over the past ten years or the new series currently airing on the WB.)

Another quick piece of housekeeping: the license plate logos used on this site were generated at ACME License Maker. Give it a look. They can also do labels and candy hearts. Neato stuff.


Entry 4: 5 October 2002, 5:50pm

(This one originally showed up on my Trivia page back on 27 November 1997.) The state of Washington once considered, albeit briefly, making the 60s rock hit "Louie Louie" the official state song--because nobody could understand the words. Un-Understand no more!! According one of the Kingsmen, the performers of the song, it is about a seaman drowning his sorrows to a bartender named Louie. So without further ado, here they are:

THE WORDS TO "LOUIE LOUIE"

A fine little girl, she wait for me
Me catch the ship across the sea
I sailed the ship all alone
I never think I'll make it home
Louie Louie, me gotta go

Three nights & days I sail the sea
Me think of girl constantly
On the ship, I dream she there
I smell the rose in her hair
Louie Louie, me gotta go

Me see Jamaican moon above
It won't be long me see me love
Me take her in my arms and then
I tell her I never leave again
Louie Louie, me gotta go

Entry 5: 7 October 2002, 1:30am

There's a question philosophers and scientists have been arguing about for centuries: "If a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Everyone agrees that the sound waves generated by the fall are indeed there, but the debate lies here: if there is nothing in the area that can receive the sound waves and properly identify them as the sound of a tree falling, was a sound actually generated, or was it just a bunch of useless sound waves?

Scientists used to be in almost total agreement that yes, a sound was generated. More contemporary scientists, however, are starting to disagree, because they've taken the original question one step further. They say that, according to quantum physics, there is no tree at all until somebody sees it.