www.tulok.net : Earlier Entries
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Top Ten Signs You Work in a Bad Office April 2, 2005 10:11 am |
Again, a fan-submitted list:
10. The copy machine is just some guy sitting in a room with a pen
9. Whenever a pencil tip breaks, you find your boss weeping under his desk
8. Cubicles are actually just old refrigerator boxes
7. Bathroom breaks come out of your vacation time
6. Some guy with a bad combover keeps yelling "You're fired!"
5. No water cooler, so people have to gather around a half-empty bottle of Evian
4. Twice a week you have to wipe away the crime scene chalk from your desk
3. Annual company retreat: the local Texaco for Cheetos and Yoo-Hoo
2. Your primary responsbility: inject other employees in the ass
1. Your boss takes a 5 month "vacation" and comes back with an ankle bracelet
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These 10 puns don't do anything for ya? No pun in ten did? April 7, 2005 10:38 am |
This is one of those that is to be forwarded as a chain letter. Since I don't do those, I'm posting it here. Note: I replaced the tenth pun with another that I heard since the original had to do with the chain letter. The pun itself, though, is in the title above:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh Taggart, the smelliest beggar in town to beg outside their shop. When all the customers stayed away, they shut down, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. A convicted hit man confessed that he was once hired to beat a cow to death in a rice field using only two small porcelin figures. Police admit this may be the first known case of a knick-knack paddy whack.
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The Perfect Day: The Day After April 11, 2005 12:43 am |
Off this weekend due to a quirk in scheduling (but then working the next nine days straight, so not much of a trade-off). Co-worker Jessica also happened to be off this weekend due to a totally different quirk in scheduling, and we were both bored sitting in our respective homes working on the computers, so we went out yesterday.
Headed out to Woodward Park, and took several pictures of her amongst the flowers, then to the theatre for "The Ring Two", then to the Hideaway for dinner, and finally back to her place for drinks and some more movies on DVD.
Even though it officially wasn't a date (since there were no romantic connotations involved, we're just very good friends, shame on you guys for thinking otherwise), it was still without a doubt the best day I've had in several years. Literally. In fact, it was November 1, 1987 that I had last had a more enjoyable day.
Alas, our respective schedules will probably prevent us from having such a day again for a very long time: it won't be too long until we won't even have a common day off, so another day like yesterday is likely not soon in coming. Dammit.
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Downhill Slide April 14, 2005 2:19 am |
Off the phone at work this week (yay), helping the trainers with some of the newbies-to-be, who are out taking calls this week as part of their training. Meanwhile, next week I get some more tech training, and for the majority of next week my group will be taking nothing but tech calls (yay). But the following week I get to go back to the launch pod (where the trainees are)(yay, again). As a result, the quirkiness of the schedules now result in mine looking like this (starting from last Friday, where the quirkiness started):
1 day on, 2 off, 10 on, 4 off, 9 on, then back to normal.
On top of all that, it appears that someone out there I know from the big-dish group has been hired as the new IT computer tech, a position I had applied for and apparently didn't even warrant an interview. They keep acting toward me like I could get any job I wanted out there, yet they won't even give me a chance when the opportunity arises.
I guess I can take solace in the fact that if I had been hired for one of the positions I didn't get interviewed for, I likely would've noticed that, by disbanding one group out there & temporarily changing the days off for another, there was no one to stay and work till the required 11 pm last Sunday. From what I heard, when they realized their mistake there was only one agent left on the phones. He was working some overtime until 10:30, so they talked him into staying until 11. He wound up taking all the calls in the Tulsa queue. Whoever he was, management better give him double-overtime or some sort of official recognition.
Saturday was so great, I guess I should've seen it coming: there was nowhere to go but down. Just didn't think it was all gonna fall apart so fast.
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And the Fun Just Keeps on Rolling April 20, 2005 1:15 am |
When last I talked about my pathetic life, my work schedule was looking like 1 day on, 2 off, 10 on, 4 off, 9 on. Well, there've been a few adjustments. The first 1 on, 2 off worked fine, but it was then followed by just 9 on: the tech training we were supposed to have this week got all discombubulated, so our days off were the same as usual. (Our hours were even shifted back to normal yesterday, although, as usual, I was the only one who didn't get the message, so I still came in an hour early.)
Oh, and of those 9 on, today of which was the ninth and last day, I've been ill for the last seven of them. Still had to go in, no sick days. And although I don't work tomorrow (yeah, yeah, technically it's later today; sue me, I haven't slept yet) I still have to go in briefly: being interviewed for a post in Payroll, wish me luck.
Since the days off this week were shifted back to normal, the 4 off has now become 2 off, 1 on, 2 off. And as I had forgotten before about taking a day off for a friend's birthday, the following 9 on is actually just 8 on, followed then by 3 off before going back to any semblence of normality. So for those of you keeping score, it now looks like this:
1 on, 2 off, 9 on, 2 off but in very briefly, 1 on, 2 off, 8 on, 3 off, then normal
Also, found out earlier today that the Buddy posts that were supposed to start May 2 have now been postponed until May 14 at the earliest. Only reason I could get out of anyone is that it somehow takes two weeks to hold a drawing to see which people will get the day shift & which will get night. Also heard that the other people who were offered DST positions still have to be interviewed, no locks there yet. And apparently still no hope that I'll even be considered for one of those spots.
And my work computer, well over a month later, is still screwed up.
Yawn. Well, that's enough for tonight. Time to feed the kitties & head off to bed. (Oh, also, I'm curious: how many people did the first word in this paragraph when they read it?)
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Same ol' Same 'ol April 21, 2005 1:31 am |
OK, feeling better in some areas, worse in others.
Interview went pretty good. Should be a week or so before I hear anything, but I was told that I'm one of only three people they've narrowed down the possibilities to, so that's something, at least.
Should be over my illness in another day or so. 'Cause I got a haircut. Yes, I know that makes absolutely no sense, I'm the first one to admit it. But it works. While I'm trying to sleep my head gets too warm so I throw off the covers, which then causes the rest of me to get too cold. Hense the haircut. I'm feeling better already.
Currently working on Jessica's birthday present. Not gonna say what it is, but anyone who knows the types of birthday & Christmas presents I give will already have a pretty good idea.
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Take Me Out to the Ball Game April 22, 2005 12:42 am |
At the end of my interview Wednesday, I was given a one-page questionnaire to fill out & return on Thursday, which I did. While there I asked again when they'd know the choice. This time I was told they'd know "later today".
And that can only mean one thing: the interviewer has already made her selection, and is just awaiting final approval. And since I had not returned the questionnaire yet, either I'm not the chosen one, or I am and the other two interviewed so bad that the questionnaire was unnecessary. Given my past history in the interview area, and the fact that the odds are against me, I'm not holding out any hope. I'll find out when I go to work in 11 hours.
Meanwhile, I had been given tickets to tonight's Drillers game because of something I was able to do at work that was nearly unique to the entire facility.
Bandwidth Hog Alert!!!
This was my view, almost a straight line down first base to second.
The view towards home plate, and the first Driller run scoring. Oh, it happened to be Glow-in-the-Dark Yo-Yo Night. The first thousand people through the gate got one.
Hornsby the mascot. Just prior to this shot Hornsby and one of the radio announcers were sanding on the 1st base dugout just over the railing, and giving out prizes to people who could answer some 80s trivia questions. The first one who shouted out the correct answer won a prize.
Hard to see, but that's the top half of the pogo stick I won for being the fastest with the answer to "What was the name of Bo and Luke's car?"
The final out. It was the first professional baseball game I'd been to since I was a kid, and Tulsa's team were still called the Oilers. I had a wonderful time, stuffed myself with peanuts, and won a prize on top of it all.
BTW, Tulsa beat Arkansas 9-2.
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Follow-Up April 22, 2005 11:53 pm |
OK, so now the position won't officially be decided on until around the middle of next week. All I can think of now is that the interviewer made her decision yesterday afternoon but the paperwork won't be finished until next week. So, while I'm feeling a little better, the odds are still against me.
And while I'm still doing the Launch Pod work next week M-F, the only opening they had was for the day shift (I had nights last time). And even though it means I'll have to be in at 7:30 each morning, at least I'll get a much better parking space.
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Life After Death April 24, 2005 1:57 pm |
Even though I'm off on the weekend, today so far really sucks. Absolutely nothing has gone right today. Oh, screw that, this whole weekend has just been one big mess-up. And it's my last day off before a string of eight straight at work.
y'know, the only thing that has prevented me from killing myself by now is the thought that I may screw it up and wind up alive but permanently disabled.
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April 25, 2005 7:30 pm |
BTW, 7:30am parking spaces aren't that much better. At least not in the back. Gonna try the front way tomorrow.
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Trevor v. Lane April 25, 2005 8:06 pm |
Front parking lot at 7:30am isn't much better. Sunday 11:30 parking is still easier.
Been watching old "Womder Woman" episodes on DVD, and it's been making me wonder, no pun intended, who the denser person is: Lois Lane, who could never prove that Clark Kent was just Superman with glasses; or Steve Trevor Sr. & Jr., neither of whom even suspected that Diana Prince was just Wonder Woman with glasses.
At least Superman changed the pitch of his voice when he was Clark.
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Life After Death, Part II April 25, 2005 9:40 pm |
The other reason why I haven't tried to kill myself: the fear that the afterlife isn't some sort of heaven or hell, that your soul actually doesn't go anywhere, but stays in your immobile body, conscious but unable to do anything but think for the rest of eternity. If that's the afterlife I'd rather postpone it for as long as possible.
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Lost & Yet-to-be-Found April 29, 2005 11:15 pm |
Well, although I had made plans back on Wednesday for it to happen, I didn't officially know until a half-hour before I was scheduled to leave that I don't have to work this weekend after all. Next week gonna do the same thing I was doing this week.
Only thing that didn't go right: when I left, for the first time since I've been working there, I forgot to pack my headset & take it with me. I called my boss later & asked her if they were on my desk or in one of my drawers, but she couldn't find it. This is not a good thing, because if I have to replace it I'm out some seventy bucks.
Then if I should wind up getting the payroll job I won't need it anymore, then I'll be out seventy bucks for nothing. May go in briefly tomorrow & see if I can find it.
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Best Buy. No, not there. April 30, 2005 12:11 pm |
Went out to work & checked on, in & around my desk. No sign of the headset. Working Launch Pod next week so I don't absolutely have to have one, but I'm still gonna have to pay to get it replaced
Leaving there, went to Office Depot & checked out their clearance bin. Got a 50-pack of DVD-R's (the blank kind you can record onto) for only 13.88. Given the regular price for blank DVD-R's usually run 60-80 cents per disk, and I had just purchased a 100-pack on sale for 40¢/disk, and these were only 27¢/disk, I think I found a good deal.
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