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Top Ten Ways They're Making The Academy Awards More Fun To Watch March 2, 2005 4:23 pm
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Another fan list from the CBS website that won't be available after next week. You guys in New York, c'mon! These need to be archived!
10. Free botox injections to the first 100 actresses
9. Instead of seat-fillers, giant piñatas
8. Winners who talk past 40 seconds are tasered
7. Oprah comes onstage and gives everyone cars
6. Dan Rather comes out and reads who won, only to be told later he was lying
5. Watch it in reverse and learn what plans Satan has for Hollywood
4. The nominees meet in a boardroom where, after some debate, Donald Trump chooses the winners
3. Clint Eastwood injects steroids into Morgan Freeman's ass
2. New category: Best Actor in a Paris Hilton Sex Tape
1. Change the name of the show to "CSI: Oscars"
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40. Uhh. What Is It Good For? Absolutely Nothing! (say it again...) March 12, 2005 12:21 am
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OK, now I'm ticked.
Aside from my mother, noone, absolutely nobody, wished me a happy birthday yesterday. Wasn't exactly like I was hiding the fact that it was coming up. None of my friends, not even my best friend, called, nobody at work said a thing. Totally na-da.
At least my cats still love me.
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Hiatus is Over March 25, 2005 12:04 am
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OK, I'm back. here's a bit of what's happened since the last rant:- Day after the last post, a fellow co-worker invited me to come over for a party. Well, not a party exactly, more like a few of us sitting around and getting drunk. Still, no prob with that. Still don't know if my last rant had anything to do with the invite, and frankly, I don't care anymore. At least someone was willing to help me celebrate my 40th.
- My birthday was the first day of my work week, and beginning that day I have had nothing but computer problems at work. Was nice that weekend in that they let me off the phone and work lead since no one was there to work on the problem. All that changed on Monday, though. I had to live with the problem for the remaining two days. (The following week was spent on vacation, so I won't know until tomorrow [by now, actually, later today] if the problem's been fixed.)
- Got myself a little birthday present, an online subscription to a site that has videos of my favorite fetish. Won't go much further there, except that it involves a lot of breathholding and little in the way of clothing.
- Exactly one week ago as of the time of this writing I was at that co-worker's place, and by this time of the evening we were both schnockered. First drinks I've had since 2001, and hopefully not my last at that place. Even though I've never told her, months ago this person became my best friend (at least, among my co-workers), and no matter what may happen to us, whether or not we still work together, I don't ever want to lose my new drinking buddy.
OK, that got way too mushy. Sorry. And no, nothing's gonna happen between me and her: I'm twice her age, and she made it clear early on, that's too old, so I'm not even gonna make the attempt Well, that takes me up to last Friday, the first day of my one-week vacation. Unfortunately, it's time to feed the cats and go to bed. After all, it is a school night. Next post will be about the Bike Show this past weekend.
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