Oops, I Did It Again February 3, 2005 10:21 pm

BTW, got to see the two-part season finale of Stargate Atlantis this morning, and while it's not as good as Enterprise or Battlestar Galactica, it's not all that ba... no, wait. Can't say any more. Don't want this series to be unexpectedly cancelled as well.
 

Top Ten Things Overheard At Donald Trump's Wedding February 5, 2005 12:02 am

 
Entries on this list were submitted by fans to the Late Show website, and chosen by the show's staff. (Reiterating: main reason I reproduce these is that the fan-submitted lists don't stay on CBS' website: once the list is replaced, it's gone forever. Some of these lists are too good for that)

10. "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband until you reach the age of 30 and he finds someone younger?"

9. "With that haircut, he should be wearing the veil"

8. "Hello, my name is Ivana. I'll be your server today"

7. "Do you promise to love, cherish and not mess up the hair?"

6. "No. This is not the buffet line. It's the next Mrs. Trump line"

5. "Shhhh! Donald Trump's hairpiece is giving a toast"

4. "This is the happiest day of my life, I found a loophole on page 23,258 of the pre-nup!"

3. "Oh look, how cute -- the groom on the cake has a little combover"

2. "George W. Bush is trying to protect the sanctity of this?"

1. "When's the next one?"
 

Top Ten Ways This Year's Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Be Different From Last Year's February 5, 2005 9:38 am

 
The fan list page updated overnight:

10. Donald Trump appears and fires the losing team before the second half

9. This year's theme: A Tribute To The Amish

8. Halftime show consists of a re-run of "Leave It To Beaver"

7. Bigger, better, more explosive costume failures!

6. Thrilling segment where John Madden attempts to eat Al Michaels

5. Three words: Up With People

4. Pop extravaganza replaced with poignant ballads about erectile dysfunction

3. Wardrobe malfunctions sponsored by Budweiser

2. The Giants and Jets will be sitting at home watching just like last year

1. Out: Janet Jackson. In: Tito Jackson.
 

From the Duhhh-partment February 5, 2005 9:02 pm

 
Looking at this headline from KOTV's website,

Small-business Owners Oppose Plans To Hike Minimum Wage

Mike Marker 10,000 February 7, 2005 9:20 am

To whoever that person was, you win...absolutely nothing. Except my eternal graditude.
 

Co-winkidinks February 9, 2005 10:24 am

 
It has long been know that the identity of Watergate informant Deep Throat would not be revealed until the person died. The rumor going on now is that the person is "seriously ill" and that his obituary has been written, just waiting for him to die for it to be published.

Then I hear that the Pope is "seriously ill."

Hmmmmm.
 

Co-winkidinks, Part 2 February 9, 2005 10:33 am

 
Just like last year, this year's Super Bowl Controversy deals with a wardrobe malfunction. This time, though, it was a deliberate manfunction.

One of the commercials, for Internet company GoDaddy.com, featured a buxom spokewoman losing her top. The company had purchased two 30-second spots, one in each half of the game. But after the first airing, story is the NFL was outraged and made Fox pull the second spot.

I'm sure the lawyers are already advancing toward Rupert Murdoch and Paul Tagliabue.

From people complaining there were bored by it.
 

The Ultimate in Useless Trivia February 10, 2005 11:26 pm

 
The interior of Dr. and Mrs. Bellows' house on I Dream of Jeannie was a redress of Darrin & Samantha Stevens' home from Bewitched.
 

From Bad to Worse February 11, 2005 9:36 am

 
And so it begins: effective today, mandatory four-hours-per-week overtime at work. Forced to do four more hours of a job I can't stand.

Don't get me wrong, I love the people. Those are some of the best people I've ever worked with. It's the corporate mentality that's doing me in.

C'mon guys, I need your help. Find me something else. Pleeeeeeease!
 

The 272nd Sign of the Apocalypse February 11, 2005 11:23 am

 
First he ruined "The Nutty Professor". The he destroyed "Doctor Dolittle".

Now Eddie Murphy is applying is destructive techniques to "The Incredible Shrinking Man".
 

Donald Trump's Top Ten Dating Tips February 12, 2005 10:17 am

 
Another fan list

10. Always remember to open the helicopter door for your date

9. Don't be a name dropper unless, of course, it is your own name

8. Candy is dandy and "ice" is nice, but nothing says love like bearer bonds

7. Don't tell her about the bankruptcies

6. Instead of a box of chocolates, buy her the Whitman's factory

5. If your date makes a comment about your combover, fire her

4. Use effective opening line: "I am very wealthy"

3. A romantic gift will win her heart. Might I suggest Season One of "The Apprentice" on DVD

2. Always date a woman near your age. Wait a minute, what the hell am I saying?

1. First, get several billion dollars
 

The Clock Is Ticking February 15, 2005 9:44 am

 

Only 24 more days. Sighhhhh...
 

ihatemyjobihatemyjobihatemyjobihatemyjobihatemyjobihatemyjob February 24, 2005 11:34 am

 
My weekend's almost over, and another new dreadful week is about to begin.

Boss found something better, so he's gone. We miss him already.

Got to play lead tech the last two days of last week, good and bad to that. Good news: I didn't have to take any calls. Bad news: my feet are still aching from all the walking around I did. And according to our manager, who's temporarily our official boss (at least, as it pertains to our paperwork), here on in I'm only gonna be allowed to do lead once a week, because it cuts into our overall call quotas that we're supposed to be keeping up. Too bad, cause I feel I'm actually better as a lead than I am as an agent.

Plus, gotta find a new way in to work. Road construction will be blocking my usual route, probably for the rest of the year.

And on top of all that, only two more weeks until I turn 40. And if you know my deep dark secret you'd realize how pathetic I'm about to become.