The Commercials Are Over!! November 2, 2004 10:58 am

All that, and the announcement that the first season of The Greatest American Hero is coming out on DVD in February. Not a bad day so far, believe it or not.
 

The 270th Sign of the Apocalypse November 3, 2004 11:01 pm

 
After the election results last night, moving to Canada doesn't seem like a very bad idea.

At least I have a lottery to look forward to.
 

Top Ten Ways California Has Changed Under Governor Schwarzenegger November 6, 2004 11:35 am

 
Entries on this list were submitted by fans to the Late Show website, and chosen by the show's staff.

10. On state forms, you now pick Male, Female or Girlie Man.

9. Purchase of "Jingle All The Way" can now be considered a tax deduction.

8. Executive order requiring "Broken-English" to be official state language

7. Forget gas prices, the cost of baby oil has skyrocketed.

6. All robots and machines now get tax breaks.

5. Curiously enough, there are no longer any citizens there by the name of "Sarah Connor."

4. Residents now boast "We have the only governor that can bench press his secretary of state."

3. Mentioning the films "Last Action Hero" and "Batman & Robin" now a felony.

2. No longer have to take a backseat to Minnesota as the state that elected the goofiest governor.

1. Because the governor is a busy man, citizens are enouraged to grope themselves.
 

The 271st Sign of the Apocalypse November 17, 2004 12:31 am

 
Down the hall and to the right of all the reality shows are a similar genre of programs I can actually tolerate: the home- makeover shows. Undoubtedly the most emotional one of the bunch is ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. The cast of zany regulars kick the always-deserving-for-some-reason family out of their house, and completely rebuild it, sometimes even gutting the foundation and starting totally from scratch.

A couple of weeks ago, the day after one of the episodes aired, ABC broadcast a behind-the-scenes version of the previous night's episode, showing what-all it took to put that episode together, as well as airing some segments that would likely have been aired on the original show but were cut for time.

Well, that special episode did so well in the ratings that ABC has decided to make it a regular series. That's right, a regular series about the making of an episode of another series.

Every damn week!!!!

Worse yet, it's probably the first series ever with a two-colon title: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition: How'd They Do That? Doesn't that violate some law of grammar?
 

The Biggest Waste of Your Tax Money EVER!!! November 17, 2004 2:07 am

 
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down on almost any surface including glass and at below freezing to over 300 C degrees.

The Russians used a pencil.
 

Oink! November 17, 2004 11:29 am

 
We can now wiggle our pigs with the best of them!

For the first time since I've been alive, the supermarket chain Piggly Wiggly has come to the Tulsa area. And even better for me, it's the closest grocery store to my house (up until as late as last Saturday, the store was still known as Marvin's); for those familiar with my part of town, it's in the Town West area.
 

Site Maintenance November 17, 2004 12:13 pm

 
Currently updating my blog software to, among other things, crease an RSS feed for my site. Still haven't figured out how to use it myself, but at least it'll be available for others. One of the results of this change, though, is that the three earlier entries for today got their order reversed. (i.e., the previos entry I had made will now be the third one after this entry. Sorry 'bout that, nothing I can do.

Another plus/minus I just noticed when previewing the result: the time of the entry is now part of the header, don't have to add that in manually anymore. Drawback to that is all the previous entries will all be stamped midnight. May go back & change them later, just depends on how I'm feeling.
 

And the Journey Continues... November 18, 2004 1:51 am

 
While going through some of the pages on the Oklahoma Department of Transportation's website I came across a page I found a map that shows a state highway I had missed during my travails for my Roadklahoma web site. At first I found it highly unusual that I could've missed one. Especially one in my home county.

I checked the road maps, could never find it on any. I've been on that road numerous times, never noticed any markings along the side of the road. Yet there it was, on ODOT's map. And since they should know where their state highways are...

End result, pictures of the endpoints of this unsigned highway have been taken and added to the road site. And one of these days I will get those other pages created. One of these days.
 

Top Ten Ways The World Would Be Different If Barbra Streisand Were President November 20, 2004 11:34 am

 
Entries on this list were submitted by fans to the Late Show website, and chosen by the show's staff. (Main reason I reproduce these is that the fan-submitted lists don't stay on CBS' website: once the list is replaced, it's gone forever. Some of these lists are too good for that)

10. All Americans required to fork over $300 to watch the State of the Union Address

9. Would change name of Camp David to Camp Diva

8. New cabinet position: Secretary of Getting Me A Manicure

7. Barbra's "Duets With World Leaders" would replace foreign policy

6. AAMCO would replace Halliburton as the government contractor of choice

5. Flu shots would be replaced with annual Botox shots

4. Constant announcements that the war is going "smooth as buttah"

3. $500 tax break for everyone who owns a copy of "Yentl"

2. Nation's highest civilian honor: The Tony Award

1. James Brolin, Secretary of Transmissions

I actually submitted one for this list, but they obviously didn't want to do too many Yentl jokes:

"Papa Can You Hear Me" named new National Anthem.
 

Quickly November 21, 2004 12:16 pm

 
If you've noticed over on the road site that some of my newer pictures don't look as sharp as the older ones, simple reason: back in May some friends borrowed my digital camera for a weekend outing, then promptly lost it. Every picture since then has actually been a screencap from my dad's old camcorder. The process of getting it into jpg form is a whole nother story...
 

Words for Some People November 23, 2004 11:49 am

 
Many of the people who call the Customer Service Center where I work, I have finally realized, can generally be grouped into two categories: stupid imbeciles and greedy little bastards. Granted there are those callers who have legitimate questions or problems, I have no problem with them. It's just that that latter group appears to be the exception, not the rule.

Some things I'd like to say to some of those people in the former group, but would get fired if I actually did:

• We are not responsible for letting you know that your service is about to be shut off because you haven't paid us. Try reading your bill every once in a while.
• You agreed to that particular charge on your bill when you had the service installed. Try reading the agreement you signed.
• When I ask for your phone number, I want your ten-digit phone number. Not your sixteen-digit account number!! Try listening once in a while.
• You know you ordered all those adult pay-per-views. We know you ordered them. Stop trying to pretend you didn't. Honestly, we've heard every possible excuse, and none of them wash.
• Learn. To. Speak. English!!
• We have no control over which games are blacked out. The channel that provides us their feed tells us which areas we are not permitted to broadcast that game to, and by federal law, we have to abide by what they tell us. You still have a problem with that, take it up with your congressman.
• And this is the biggie: when you initially signed up you were eligible for specials as a new customer that the existing customers at the time weren't able to get. I seriously doubt you were complaining that that was unfair to the existing customers when you signed up; after all, you likely got some free stuff. So stop whining now that the shoe is on the other foot and you're the existing customer.

There, I feel better.
 

TV Tips That Likely Won't Help November 24, 2004 8:48 pm

 
Keeping in mind that, besides science-fiction, my favorite genres of television show are the documentary and science ones, here are some of my current favorite shows on the air that, for one reason or another, you've probably never seen:

Best Show You're Not Watching Because You Probably Don't Have the Channel It's On: Seconds from Disaster (Tuesdays, 9pm CST) Currently the best show on the National Geographic Channel, this series takes notable disasters and deadly accidents, and breaks them down, detailing step-by-step the series of events that let to the incident. May sound boring, but they use both CGI and optical effects to recreate the incidents, most of which were never before caught on film. The very first episode told me more about the crash of the Concorde than I had ever heard before.

The second episode was even more stunning: using CGI, they recreated the Oklahoma City Bombing. And while we all know how it happened, further research done by the show revealed a very tragic and disturbing fact: most of the deaths weren't caused by the explosion itself, but by the collapse of the building when the support beams were vaporized. If the building had been constructed to California earthquake standards, the collapse likely never would've happened, and many of the victims that day may not have died.

(That particular episode is currently scheduled to be rebroadcast on Tuesday, December 28th at 9pm.)

Best Show You Can't Watch Because It Doesn't Air In the States: Brainiac: Science Abuse. Happened to find copies of this series online, and I just love it. These people will take anything and everything that has ever been wondered and subject them to scientific tests. Some of the questions they've tested in the episodes I've seen:

• Can you shave while being electrocuted? No.
• Which makes better packing material: foam rubber, styrofoam or bubble wrap? By wrapping TVs in each and throwing them out the back of a van going 60 mph, the TV packed in bubble wrap was the only one that still worked.
• Can an office corkboard be used as a floatation device? Yes.
• Does time really fly when you're having fun? Most definitely.
• Best one: Is there a particular tone that, if you hear it at the correct volume, will cause you to do #2 in your pants? This one is actually true, the viewers got to test it for themselves. And so can you, just click here for the tone if you want to try it out. Just make sure no one's in the bathroom at the time.

Best Show You're Not Watching... Yet: Battlestar Galactica. Last year's revamp of the classic series has progressed beyond it's original miniseries to full-fledged status, with the first of thirteen episodes scheduled to begin on the Sci-Fi Channel on Friday, January 14th. The same British channel that brings us Brainiac has already started airing the series, so as a result I've already seen the first five episodes, and I can honestly say that, while it's not the best sci-fi series ever made, and some of the actors tend to come across a little flat, it is far and away a much-better written series than the original, and it is well-worth checking out when the episodes start showing up on this side of the Pond early next year.
 

Winter Is Here November 24, 2004 11:24 pm

 
A few minutes ago, the temperature a the KJRH Studios dropped to 31 degrees, marking Tulsa's first below-freezing temperature of the season. Actually, this is the latest in the year I can ever recall this happening; we usually have at least one sub-32 day in October.

Also, the last time we had an all-sunny, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky day was back on the 5th. Thanksgiving is supposed our first similar day since. We'll see.
 

The Trek Revelation to End All Trek Revelations November 26, 2004 11:19 am

 
Mark your calendars: according to this article, Star Trek: Enterprise will, on February 18th, show us once and for all how the Klingons went from the bumpy-headed versions on the show now, to the Fu-Manchu versions we saw on the original series. Whatever happened to them, it's apparently going to last for 116 years, and be reversed just in time for the first movie.