The Law Is The Law June 1, 2004 12:00 am

So be it...........and Amen!
 

The FCC Song. With a Side Order of Spam... June 1, 2004 12:00 am

 
Monty Python's Eric Idle has written a new song blasting the FCC. And practically everyone else in the current Bush administration. Worth a listen.

WARNING: Funny, but not for children. Do not let the underage hear it. OK, I've done my part, now you parents have to do yours.12:13pm
 

Catching Up Is Hard To Do June 11, 2004 12:00 am

 
Sorry I've been away. Busy playing with my DVD burner (at the moment working on Episode 12 of The Ascent of Man, which aired three weekends ago on The Science Channel); cleaning up the yard of limbs ripped down during the windstorm back on the 2nd (power at our place was out for only four hours, as we live along one of the main lines); successfully looking for work (found a job as a Customer Service Rep that starts on the 28th; pays only half of what I was making at my previous place of employment, but as my unemployment benefits have run out, I'm not complaining); attending a meeting involving the expansion of the Gilcrease Expressway (more on that in a future entry); and, of course, lots of TV.

For the rest of this entry, let's discuss NASCAR:

After last year's Winston all-star race, there was much controversy about how the inversion took place: all the drivers knew the fans would always vote for the maximum number of cars to be inverted, so the winner, Jimmie Johnson, positioned himself into a spot near the back, as just the right spot for the inversion to move him close to the front. From there he easily won the race.

Nextel took over the Cup series this year, and indeed made some changes to the All-Star race. The inversion went back to a random draw. The fan vote went to the Open race, an "Almost-All-Star" event, the winner of which advanced to the All-Star race that followed. Of all the other drivers in the race, the one who received the most fan votes, and who finished on the lead lap, also advanced to the big race. The second-highest vote getter, Ken Shrader, advanced because the vote-winner, Kerry Earnhardt, didn't finish on the lead lap.

KERRY EARNHARDT?!! Haven't you people been listening? He's the worst driver NASCAR has had in years! He doesn't even deserve to be in the infield! Stop voting for him! And you owners: stop giving him rides! There are dozens more deserving drivers out there ready to see the big leagues, find one of them! PLEASE!!!!

(OK, Martin, calm down. Breathe in, breath out. Happy thoughts. Liz Hurley. Lady in the Leptoprin commercials. Ahhhh. Much better.)

Since the All-Star race, several things have happened in Cup racing that has caused drivers and commentators alike to demand rule changes. The NASCAR officials, stuck up as they are, naturally don't appear to be listening. Some of the suggestions, however, make perfect sense and need to be implemented, if not in every Cup race, at least during the ten-race Chase For the Championship at the end of the season:

First, a no-brainer: Green/White/Checkered! Races should never end under caution, except in the event of bad weather. Ending under the yellow flag is about as anticlimatic as it can get. And don't give me the official excuse that the length of the race is set in stone in the drivers' contracts: if you can do it in the truck series you can do it in the two car series. And if you can change such a major rule as "racing back to the caution" in the space of one week, a green/white/checkered rule can be changed immediately as well!

Drivers have also been complaining lately that cars damaged in wrecks have been coming back out and causing more accidents. I can see their reasoning for doing it; with the Chase For the Championship starting this year, every point is crucial.

But once the Chase has started, the matter is pretty much academic for the non-Chasers, the drivers not eligible for the championship. So, my proposed second rule, which would be effective only during the last ten races of the year: If you're not one of the ten drivers involved in the Chase, and you have to take your car to the garage area for any reason, it stays there. Only the Chasers would be allowed to repair their car and return to the track.

My third change doesn't have to do with the Chase, it instead involves Memorial Day Weekend. ABC is in serious discussions with the Indy Racing League about changing the start time for the Indianapolis 500 to the mid-afternoon in an attempt to get better ratings. I can tell you right now doing that will provide exactly the opposite result.

Case in point: only reason I watched this year was to see how well Robbie Gordon would do running two races in the same day. Once the race was red-flagged for rain and Robbie had to leave to get to Charlotte for the NASCAR race, I stopped watching. If the Indy start time is moved to the afternoon, drivers would no longer be physically able to run both races anymore. They would stay in Charlotte and I guarantee Indy ratings would plummet as a result.

There is one and only one way to restore the Indianapolis 500 to the prestigious event it once was: get rid of open-wheel racing (the general public doesn't care that much about it anyway), and make the Indy 500 a Nextel Cup event. Charlotte's Coca-Cola 600 can move to the weekend of the July Daytona race, Daytona can start the season with the Pepsi 400, and the Daytona 500 can be moved to the last race of the year in November, where the champion would be crowned. 4:15pm
 

???????? June 13, 2004 12:00 am

 
One thing, among many, that I hate about the weekend: the local news stations don't do overnight updates of their web sites. Some sort of storm came through last night. The winds picked up around 3:30am (heluva night to have insomnia), and continued until at least six (when I finally fell asleep), but there has been no indication that it ever rained, and not once did I hear thunder. The wind was apparently strong enough, however, to knock out power to much of the city (went out her at 4am and, based on my now-blinking alarm clock, was out for five hours), at least according to PSO's recorded message around 5am.

Sure wish I knew what happened. 12:20pm
 

Bigger Than the Apocalypse June 16, 2004 12:00 am

 
This makes no sense whatsoever, and can only mean one thing: Sign #1 That Hell Has Frozen Over!

Fox News, the media puppet of the Bush administration and the Republican Party in general, has given a favorable review of Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11".

'Nuff of this. I'm going back to my Dr. Kildare movie marathon. Ah, the simpler times. 2:20pm
 

The 267th Sign of the Apocalypse June 16, 2004 12:00 am

 
Eighties crooner Michael "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You" Bolton is trying to get his own talk show. 11:56am
 

Dept. of Unanswered Questions June 21, 2004 12:00 am

 
1. The Frankenstein monster was made up of parts of deceased human bodies. Why then, in most color pictures of the monster, is his skin green? I've never heard of of any green-skinned people, except in science- fiction material, nor have I heard that rotting flesh turns green. Maybe in splotches, but not as a consistent hue all over the body.

2. Do the NASCAR pace cars have cruise control?

3. The ol' song "Whatever Happened to Randolph Scott" has a line mentioning "four foul balls, you're out." As near as I can tell this rule has never existed in either Major or Minor League Baseball, although I think it's a magnificent idea. The rule had to exist somewhere, or it wouldn't have been in the song. The question is, where?

4. What was WWI called before WWII? I'm sure they weren't calling it World War I: that would morbidly presuppose that there'd be a second one.

5. Just who did put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong? Sounds messy. 1:06pm DP
 

SPAM ALERT! DANGER, WILL ROBINSON! SPAM ALERT! June 24, 2004 12:00 am

 
Apparently a variation of the "send-money-to-any-country-beginning-with-the-letter-T" is going around. This one is even more dangerous because it sounds even more legit. I am going to repost it here (except for the sender information) so that if you get a similar letter, you'll know to ignore it immediately.

Subject: RE: McMahon, CALL ME PLEASE!!!!!

ATTN:Martin McMahon,

With due regards

I am Barrister Takama Bellushi a solicitor at law,personal attorney to Engr.Harry.J.McMahon, who used to work with Shell Development Company in Lome Togo. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 21st of April 2001, my client, his wife and their only daughter were involved in a gastly c ar accident along Nouvissi express Road.
All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have
made several enquiries to your embassy here to locate any of my clients extended relatives,this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts,In my desprate search for urgent assistance,I decided to track his l ast name over the foreign mission guestbook, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the fund valued at USD$10.5 million left behind by my client before it get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the (SECURITY FINANCE FIRM) here in Lome-Togo,where this huge amount were deposited.! And now the bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have his account confisicated within the next twenty one of ficial working days.

Since I have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2years now, I seek the consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased since you have the same last names,so that the proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Therefore, on re ceipt of your positive response, we shall then discuss the sharing ratio and modalities for transfer. I have all necessary information and legal documents needed to back you up for claim.All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through.I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. Please get in touch with me through the above email or through my direct phone number for more details. urgent responce to this letter will be proudly appreciated.

I kept the spelling and grammatical errors the way they originally appeared, along with the paragraph and line breaks. Those errors alone threw up a red flag for me. The so-called "barrister's" signature was accompanied with a West Africa return address, and accompanying phone number. Tried the sender's email, it bounced back to me as unsendable. Since they're not asking for money I can only assume that the phone number is one of those "$3.95 for the first minute, $395.00 each additional minute" kind.

In any case, if you receive a similar letter, DO NOT ANSWER! It won't be for you. 9:48pm
 

Bill Clinton: The Cliffs Notes June 24, 2004 12:00 am

 
For those like me who can't afford it right now, and those like most of my former co-workers who are staunch Republicans, The Slate has summarized all the good and pertinent quotes from former President Clinton's memoir My Life and made this article. Some very interesting revelations.

Oh, and to those former co-workers who have transferred to North Carolina: Doug's doing well, says hi, and tells me that his annual 4th party is on as scheduled. 1:25am
 

Just Can't Wait to Get On the Road Again June 25, 2004 12:00 am

 
Several road-related stories to tell, so I decided to collect a bunch of them and tell them all at once.

First off, congrats to Eric over at OKHighways. A couple of days ago he finished photographing every state highway terminus point. Oh, sure, I finished the same thing back in September. BUT, Eric's accomplishment is much greater: he also did every US Highway terminus point and/or point where they crossed the state line, as well as the interstates. In addition, while I concentrated on the endpoints (because, when I started, the digital camera I was using had a capacity of only sixty shots), Eric took and posted pics along many of the highways as well. His site is well worth a look-see.

A couple of weeks ago I attended the first meeting of the Gilcrease Northwest Expressway Environmental Assessment, a study which will determine the route of the Gilcrease Expressway within Osage County. This is the last portion of the expressway that needs to be planned out (the final route from Edison to 41st St will be announced this summer). The map in the inset (click on it for a larger version) shows the area the EA plans to concentrate on.

The purpose of the meeting was to get the input of the people who live in this area, since they would have a pretty good idea of where the obstacles would be. Not surprisingly, it became clear almost immediately that most of the obstacles will be the homeowners themselves.

According to an article that appeared in the Tulsa World the next day, the homeowners were pretty much divided into two groups: "I don't want it built at all" and "I live here, so build it waaaaaaayyyyyy over there." To the latter group, I say good luck. To the former, I say get over it. Just because the highway has been only in the "proposal" stage for some forty years didn't mean it was never going to be done: you can talk to the people who lived along the Memorial-to-Riverside portion of the Creek Turnpike route for proof of that. All you had to do was look at an official road map to see the proposed route: I've been seeing it on maps since I was a kid, and I wasn't even looking for it. This road has got to be built, and it's going to be built.

My problem with it being built is the projected timeline. Officials at the meeting were suggesting a completion date of, maybe, 2010. That I have a major problem with. That giant statue-slash-tourist attraction that's being built out at Holmes Peak is scheduled to be finished by the state's centennial in 2007. The current road infrastructure out in that area cannot handle the amount of traffic expected by statue tourism. This part of the highway must be finished by the time the statue is ready to be opened to the public.

The Beginning of the End? June 25, 2004 12:00 am

Thinking back, I'm starting to wonder if this might become the 2004 equivalent of the Quayle-blasting-Murphy-Brown event that toppled the first domino in the eventual downfall of the first Bush administration. Only time will tell. 1:11pm
 

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To Work I Go June 28, 2004 12:00 am

 
It's been eight months and eighteen days since I've been able to say this: I'm off for work! Wish me luck. 11:35am