Entry 1 October 3, 2002 12:00 am

 
As my closest friends know, Friends is one of my favorite TV shows. It's one of currently only two shows where I won't pick up the phone if someone calls, no matter who it is (the other one being Enterprise). Last night the second episode of the ninth (and apparently last) season aired. In it, Chandler fell asleep during a staff meeting and when he awoke found that he had unknowingly agreed to be transferred to (ta, da da DAAAA) Tulsa, or as he called it when he tried to convince Monica to move there with him, "the Paris of Oklahoma." Looks like we've found us a new motto. "Oil Capitol of the World" sure doesn't cut it anymore. Although the closest thing we have to an Eiffel Tower is the Golden Driller, an image of which appears on this site's home page. (BTW, I've heard some of what happens in Episodes 3 & 4. Nutshell: Chandler moves to Tulsa, Monica doesn't. Looks like it's not gonna last long, though. By episode 7 it appears that Chandler's back in New York.)

Gonna be interesting to see what shots are used for Tulsa, and if they do any homework at all about the place. Last time I can recall Tulsa featured in a television show it was over twenty years ago, in a very short-lived series called Beyond Westworld (it was a spring filler meant to last five weeks, but the show was so bad it was pulled after three). The police cars were the wrong color, the officer's uniforms were the wrong color (standard TV blue instead of Tulsa olive), and I seem to remember that it wasn't even the Tulsa skyline.

Now, a couple of things about me & the website. First of all, welcome. I am not a professional writer nor do I have any intention to become one. It occured to me the other day while I was talking to myself in the shower about how it's determined which NFL games CBS gets and which go to FOX (which I'll get to one day) that I know all this stuff, most of it useless, and have nobody to tell it to. Or rather, those that I do know wouldn't be interested in hearing it.

I had this site out on the Internet basically collecting dust, except for a few weather pages which I most likely can't link to for legal reasons (if you saw it you'd know why), a trivia site I lost interest in updating nearly two years ago (the archive page of which can still be reached from here) and a Friends site that showed which pieces of dialog were cut for their airing in syndication. Quickly gave up that one when I noticed that the cuts would vary from station to station.

So, after seeing the site of one of my favorite writers, Mark Evanier (he did the Garfield TV series, the last good program to have appeared on any of the Big Three's Saturday morning lineups), I decided to try the same thing. I'm not gonna be nearly as good as him (as for instance, this article took me over an hour to write), but at least maybe somebody will finally get to hear some of the stuff that's been floating around my head for so long. And who knows? Some if it may actually one day be useful to someone.

Not to differ with those who have come before me, but you're not crazy if you talk to yourself. You only start going in that direction if you answer yourself. But if you answer by saying "Huh?", then... 11:04pm
 

Entry 2 October 4, 2002 12:00 am

 
The Official Funniest Joke in the World was announced the other day in London. After going over some 40,000 jokes, a group of research scientists came up with the joke that seemed to have the most universal appeal. Other jokes are bound to be funnier, but only to a select group of people. Supposedly, this one is funny to everybody.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Hey, I liked it. First two, three million times I heard it. Still gets a chuckle though. Oh, by the way, here's what was selected as the runner-up:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!'' he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!'' 3:50pm
 

Entry 3 October 5, 2002 12:00 am

 
A couple more things about this season's Friends: after four years of a 35-second opening sequence, it looks like they've gone back to the original 45-second version. Probably 'cause it's the last year of the show. Also, if you're setting your VCR timers to record the show, be sure to add a few minutes to the end of your timer. Each of the last two episodes ran 2-3 minutes past the bottom of the hour, and the rumor is they're gonna do that for the rest of the season. Lets the network get in a couple more of those all-expensinve commercials.

BTW, I do watch other shows. I've just spent the last eight hours watching the Key to Time season of Doctor Who that just came out on DVD this week (first Who shows that appeared on DVD here in the States before they arrived in the UK homeland). And this weekend on the Boomerang cable channel, as well as every remaining weekend this month, is every Scooby Doo cartoon ever made. (At least that's how they're advertising it. They're not including those made-for-video movies made over the past ten years or the new series currently airing on the WB.)

Another quick piece of housekeeping: the license plate logos used on this site were generated at ACME License Maker. Give it a look. They can also do labels and candy hearts. Neato stuff. 5:45am
 

Entry 4 October 5, 2002 12:00 am

 
(This one originally showed up on my Trivia page back on 27 November 1997.) The state of Washington once considered, albeit briefly, making the 60s rock hit "Louie Louie" the official state song--because nobody could understand the words. Un-Understand no more!! According one of the Kingsmen, the performers of the song, it is about a seaman drowning his sorrows to a bartender named Louie. So without further ado, here they are:

THE WORDS TO "LOUIE LOUIE"

A fine little girl, she wait for me
Me catch the ship across the sea
I sailed the ship all alone
I never think I'll make it home
Louie Louie, me gotta go

Three nights & days I sail the sea
Me think of girl constantly
On the ship, I dream she there
I smell the rose in her hair
Louie Louie, me gotta go

Me see Jamaican moon above
It won't be long me see me love
Me take her in my arms and then
I tell her I never leave again
Louie Louie, me gotta go

5:50pm
 

Entry 5 October 7, 2002 12:00 am

 
There's a question philosophers and scientists have been arguing about for centuries: "If a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Everyone agrees that the sound waves generated by the fall are indeed there, but the debate lies here: if there is nothing in the area that can receive the sound waves and properly identify them as the sound of a tree falling, was a sound actually generated, or was it just a bunch of useless sound waves?

Scientists used to be in almost total agreement that yes, a sound was generated. More contemporary scientists, however, are starting to disagree, because they've taken the original question one step further. They say that, according to quantum physics, there is no tree at all until somebody sees it. 1:30am
 

Entry 6 October 8, 2002 12:00 am

 
The first round of the MLB playoffs are now over, and for a change, all four underdogs advanced over the favorites. I love it. Any time George Steinbrenner loses, I'm all for it.

Actually, I love parity in sports. I'm sick of the Yankees, the Braves, the Lakers, and any college football team from Florida. I root for the Cubs and the Buccaneers every year. This baseball postseason I think I'm gonna root for San Francisco. I'd like to see Barry Bonds get a World Series ring at least once in his career.

And yes, even though I was born and raised in Oklahoma, I'm against the Sooners. Mainly because I went to Oklahoma State back during the Switzer era at OU, and we were taught from freshman year that we were allowed to root for OU only one time of the year: when they were playing Nebraska. The other 364 days of the year OU was, and always will be to me, the enemy. 4:50am
 

Entry 7 October 8, 2002 12:00 am

 
Changed the background colors on the pages when I noticed that the links on the left side were difficult to see with a blue backdrop. BTW, the colors were blue and gold because those are the colors of the University of Tulsa, therefore probably the closest thing we have to official city colors. But then I remembered, I didn't go there. Besides, they've got the worst college football team in the country (longest current losing streak in Division I-A). So I went with not only my college colors of orange and black, but they were my high school colors as well (Tulsa Washington Hornets). Plus it's October and these colors are nice and Halloweenish. May change them again in November; they'll definitely be some greens and reds here for Christmas.

If you received a CD-ROM in the mail for Tulsa e-Pages, here's some advice. Chunk it, scratch it up, put a match to it to see if CDs warp the same way vinyl records do, but do not, under any circumstances, install the thing on your computer. It's out of date, takes forever to install, cannot be uninstalled (at least not in Windows 2000), and messes up other programs. A feature on html allows a web page to automatically go to another web page after a specified amount of time. This feature worked just fine in Internet Explorer before I installed this CD. It don't work no more. And I haven't installed anything else recently, so it has to be the culprit. I've talked to other people and they've had similar problems with this CD as well, so I know it's not just me.

But even without the glitches the program causes, just the simple fact that it's already out of date should be enough reason not to install it. Besides, their web site pretty much does everything the CD does, plus it's a lot easier to keep current. It has lots of good stuff about Tulsa, and I would recommend the web site in a second. Whenever I get around to creating a links page it'll be on it. Just don't install the CD. You'll quickly regret it and your computer will hate you. 4:10pm
 

Entry 8 October 10, 2002 12:00 am

 
Something I've always wanted to do was see just what the nation's television markets looked like in terms of size and shape. Thanks to the attempted merger of Dish Network and DirecTV, I was finally able to see the maps for each state. Putting them all together, I have made a national map of what those in the industry call Designated Market Areas, or DMAs. The picture to the left is a thumbnail of my result. Larger versions are available here: (640x480) (800x600) (1024x768) (1200x1024) (1600x1200)

Two things struck me as really interesting. First, the very populous state of New Jersey has no television stations of its own. Half of the state get their news from New York City, the other half from Philadelphia. Second, take a look at the white areas in Colorado, Nebraska and Wyoming. That's all one market. Denver. I'd be interested to know how well-treated the people in the area of northern Wyoming are when it comes to news about their area. 5:01am
 

Entry 9 October 12, 2002 12:00 am

 
A couple of word associations to help you remember which is which...

Which side is the port & which is the starboard?  As you face forward, looking at the bow (front) of the ship, the left side is the port and the right side is starboard. The way to remember that: left has fewer letters than right, and port has fewer letters than starboard.

The stalactites & stalagmites in a cave. Which come up & which drop down? Even easier. Stalactite contains the letter 'c', as does 'ceiling'. Stalagmite has a 'g' in it, and so does 'ground'. So stalactites drop down from the ceiling and stalagmites rise up from the ground. 5:39pm
 

Entry 10 October 15, 2002 12:00 am

 
OK, the Scooby-Doo marathon on the Boomerang cable channel is half-over. (To remind those just joining us, over each weekend in October the Cartoon Network spinoff is airing every Doo cartoon ever made in the 20th century for Saturday morning television.)  I think the marathon is getting to me. I'm starting to get weird thoughts. Why aren't these teenagers in school? What kind of parents would let their teenage kids travel all over the world unchaperoned?

The girls never carry purses. Wouldn't a purse be convenient to carry, say, spare glasses for Velma?

Do you know of anybody, outside of those in correctional facilities, whose entire wardrobe consists of one outfit? Or if they have more than one outfit, that look completely identical to each other? How do they get their laundry done?

And if our gang actually do have change of clothes, where are they kept? Behind the front seat of the Mystery Machine, the van is completely barren. Most of the time, Shaggy & Scooby don't even have seats; it's like they're riding in the back of a covered pick-up. Where do they sleep when they're in-between towns? They don't have any tents or sleeping bags.

Where do they get the money to do all this traveling? And how did they get the Mystery Machine over to places like Scotland and China?   For that matter, why would the Chinese government let four American teenagers and a talking dog roam the countryside in their own vehicle without any sort of an escort? And how did Fred get a Chinese driver's license? When that adventure was over, how was the gang able to get the talking dog back to the States without creating an international incident that would have lasted long after the gang were past their teens?

A talking dog that can run on his hind legs? Just what's in those Scooby Snacks anyway? And if those treats can make a dog smart enough to think intelligibly and run like a human, how do you explain Shaggy?

Even notice that when the gang splits up "to look for clues" the only time we ever see Fred & Daphne's group is when Velma's with them? We never see Fred and Daphne by themselves. Just what exactly are they investigating by themselves? Is the threat of potential danger a turn-on to them? And when the danger has passed, do Velma and Shaggy ever try to ditch the rest of the group for a little alone time of their own? After all, given how much Shaggy eats, he has to be doing something to stay that skinny. Just running and hiding all the time can't explain it all.

<sigh> Two more weekends of this. And from here on in it'll be even worse. It's time to bring in <shudder> Scrappy! 7:05am
 

Entry 11 October 18, 2002 12:00 am

 
On one of his Saturday news broadcasts in 1998, veteran radio newsman and Tulsa native Paul Harvey read a letter that had already been floating around for a few years. I fell in love with the article the first time I heard it (I've still got the recording around here somewhere) and decided to re-post the transcript when I got the chance. Well worth a read.

The article can be found here, in the first entry of a new section I call Side Trips. Basically it's stuff that would kinda be too big to put here.

If you go there, or to the main Side Trips page in the left column, you'll see some new graphics resembling road signs. Came across the program that made these signs whilst roadgeek-surfing (entries and side trips on what I discovered coming soon). If you'd like to give the program a shot for yourself, then head this way. 6:17am
 

Entry 12 October 19, 2002 12:00 am

 
Oklahoma State has finally beaten Nebraska, 24-21. YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! First time that's happened since four years before I was born. I guess those slaughters by Penn State and Iowa State weren't flukes after all. Nebraska really does suck this year!

Now if Arizona can beat Dallas tomorrow (a lot more probable than what happened today) and Jeff Gordon can screw up another engine in Martinsville my weekend will go from great to spectacular! 7:13pm
 

Entry 13 October 20, 2002 12:00 am

 
Did you know that Tulsa has a third interstate? Most people don't, because they don't see it when they're driving. In fact, the only place you'll ever see the shield for Interstate 444 is on a road map.

I-444 was the planned designation for the East and South legs of the downtown Inter Dispersal Loop (I-244 already comprising the West and North legs). When those sections were under construction back in the early 80s I even remember the main construction sign saying something to the effect of "Future Route of Interstate 444."

But for some reason, once the road was completed, the I-444 signs were never put up. They aren't really necessary, as both of those IDL legs are also US Highway 75, while the South leg is also US-64/OK-51. The road maps put out by the State Transportation Department removed the I-444 shield from their maps of downtown Tulsa several years ago, but other maps--including the online Mapquest maps and the brand-new 2003 Rand-McNally Road Atlas--still shows these sections as 444, which would seem to me very confusing to someone for an out-of-towner trying to find a place the map shows to be just off I-444, only to get totally lost trying to find our secret interstate.

One suggestion put forth as to why I-444 was never shielded was that the state could never get the federal funding to do so. However, other sites have mentioned that federal funding is not necessary for a highway to become designated an interstate. The Feds don't even have final say as to what the number would be, as the ill-named I-99 in Pennsylvania and I-238 in California would attest. (Check out those links if you're interested in their stories.)  The only requirements the federal government put forth are that the highway meet certain specifications required of all interstate highways (widths, emergency lanes, etc.), and that they follow the standard numbering procedures required of all 3-digit interstates.  Interstate 444 therefore meets all of the federal requirements to call it an interstate.

Which brings us back to why it's not signed on the roads. The best theory I could come up with is that the signs on the south leg already look crowded, being it's already US-75, US-64 and OK-51. Adding another shield would bunch the signs up even worse.  That, or a multicolored shield on those BGSs (a roadgeek term for "Big Green Signs") cost extra, more than the state was willing to spend.

Either way, something needs to be done: either put up the signs along the highway or do something that would force the mapmakers to stop calling it 444. My suggestion: give it a new interstate number. Call it Interstate 144, which is a 3-digit designation for a spur that goes out of town, and extend it along the Cherokee Expressway (US-75 north out of downtown) until the expressway ends in Washington County and it becomes a regular divided highway. That way Tulsa would have a real third interstate and the thousands of people who work at the Cherokee Industrial Complex (of which I am one) would be able to tell others they work "just off the interstate."

Well, I think it'd be cool... 1:48am
 

Entry 14 October 24, 2002 12:00 am

 
Got bored, so I started spinning a quarter on the table, one of this year's Indiana state quarters. Oddest thing happened: every time I was spinning it with my right hand, therefore spinning it clockwise, without fail it landed Indy-car-side (tails) up. Every single time. Just figured it had something to do with weight distribution within the coin, that the heads side was probably heavier so that side always landed face down as a result.

Then, being even more bored by this point, I started spinning the quarter left-handed, so counterclockwise. This time around it landed heads up. Every single time!

I'm sure there's some nice explanation for it, probably dealing with centrifiga... centrifu... that spinning force thing, maybe with relation to the size and/or weight of the quarter and the speed of the rotation. Darned if I know what it is though. 6:16am
 

Entry 15 October 26, 2002 12:00 am

 


May be a little hard to see what the picture above is of, but it's one of the more interesting pics floating out there on the web. What you're looking at is a 360-degree panoramic view from the literal top of the earth: the summit of Mount Everest, taken by one of its conquerors back in 1989. Click on the picture to go to the page it originally appeared on. Or, click here and to go the picture they're showing today. They, by the way, being NASA.

Yesterday one of  the great actors of the 20th Century died, and it hit me that different generations would best know him for different things. Most youngsters would know Richard Harris as Professor Albus Dumbledore in the Harry Potter movies, while my parents' generation probably know him best as King Arthur in 1967's Camelot. Meanwhile, what does my generation remember him for? That stupid "MacArthur Park" song about melting cakes.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the song, I just think those lyrics are weird. Course, it did come out of the late-60s, during all that "flower power" stuff, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. No, it's not the lyrics that make it one of my favorites, nor the singer, nor that it's some sort of pop-rock-ballad hybrid. It's that it's long. It's 7½ minutes in length.

Ever since I first started listening to FM radio back in the mid-70s, long songs quickly became my favorite. Probably because they weren't played that often on the radio due to their length. It started with "MacArthur Park," "American Pie" and "Stairway to Heaven" and it's never stopped. If it's over seven minutes long, chances are I'm gonna like it. Genre of music doesn't seem to matter. From Benny Goodman's "Sing Sing Sing" (8-12 minutes depending on which recording), to Donna Summer's disco version of "MacArthur Park" (which somehow actually came out 2½ times longer that Harris's version), to Iron Butterfly's 17-minute "In-a-Gadda-da-Vida." Love 'em all. Except for Grand Funk Railroad's "I'm Your Captain." Way too repetitive.

One last rememberance while slightly on the subject of 70s music. One of my favorite groups in my early days (and they had a couple of long songs of their own) was Wings. I remember the DJs at the time talking about Paul McCartney, and that he used to be with some other group. Every once in a while they'd play some of the songs from that other group, and I didn't care for them. (Most of the songs were too short.) To me, Paul McCartney will always be first and formost, a Winger. 4:11am
 

Entry 16 October 30, 2002 12:00 am

 
Somebody in the misc.transport.road newsgroup suggested giving an interstate designation to the Creek Turnpike, possibly I-644, given that we've already got an invisible I-444 floating around (see comment 13). My response, essentially, was, Why stop there? Here's my verbatim response:

I already had the idea of calling it I-644, but I had it going even further.
Try to follow:

--I-644 encompassing the entire Creek Turnpike, mile markers starting at the
Turner Turnpike end.

--Once the Creek ends, take 644 back along 44 & 244 into town

--Once 244/644 reaches OK-11 (Gilcrease Expressway at the airport), 644 breaks
off and goes along the Gilcrease.

--Eventual plans for the Gilcrease are for it to continue west between Archer &
36th St N, then turn and head south along 55th W Ave, crossing the Keystone
Expressway & the Arkansas River along this line...

--...where it will hook up with a highway that is already partially complete at
41st St & 55th W Ave called (natch) the Gilcrease Extension.

--This road hooks back into I-44 at the same point I-244 begins, and would
signify the end of Interstate 644.

There you go, an almost complete beltway around Tulsa, once the Gilcrease is
completed. Thoughts?

You think I'm a roadgeek now, wait'll you see my plans for I-844. Coming soon to a website near you. 6:13am
 

Entry 17 October 31, 2002 12:00 am

 
I hate arguments, fighting, and the like. I’m at my happiest when everybody else is happy. So my last potential girlfriend wouldn’t take my calls. If not having me around is what makes her happy, fine. So I tell a friend in California how much my best friend likes her new job, how good she is at it, and how much they like her work, only to find out days later that she had already been fired, and never bothered to say a thing to me about it, making me look totally stupid to my California friend (I know my friend wouldn’t agree, but that’s how I feel about it). And so, a month later, she still hasn’t said two words to me about it, or for that matter anything else. Fine, I can live with that. I’ll be totally miserable and friendless, but if I have to I can live with it.

Having said that, we’ve got elections coming around next week, and I’m gonna stir up the pot a bit by recommending a few ways to vote here in Northeast Oklahoma. And I’m like most people, I don’t delve too deeply into a candidate’s views. But in most cases, one or two things stick out that typically get me to vote for the other guy. And even though I’m a registered Democrat, I’ve never been a straight-party voter. Case in point:

US Senate – David Walters (D) is trying to unseat incumbent Jim Inhofe (R). The same Walters who brought disgrace to this state a decade ago by being the only governor in state history to be indicted while in office, for campaign finance irregularities. The fact that he took responsibility for it isn’t enough to sway me. Besides, Inhofe is from the Tulsa area, Walters isn’t. Vote for Inhofe.

1st District House – a replay of the special election from earlier this year. I’ve liked Doug Dodd from back before his political career, when he was a news anchor at Channel 6. I think he did a good job on the Tulsa School Board, and the smear campaign John Sullivan has been trying to attack him with is just shameful, as well as too easy to prove wrong. Vote for Dodd.

SQ 687 – to ban cockfighting in the state. I’ll go along with the animal-rights groups on this one. Attaching knives and razors to the roosters’ legs and have them fight to the death is sooooo wrong. Although I would kinda be interested in seeing a fight between roosters with little boxing gloves attached to their feet instead, as one breeder does. Sounds cute. But since most of the time it doesn’t go that way, and since I got my four cats I’m pretty much against animal cruelty of any kind, I’m gonna vote yes on this one.

SQ 693 – one of those bond votes. Allows regional economic development, but only as specified by the Legislature. Reminds me of the time we voted to legalize horse racing and its associated betting. What we actually voted for was the right for each county to decide whether or not to have a track. But once the question passed, the Legislature changed the meaning after the fact to say pretty much that they’ll say which counties get to have tracks. Only four or five ever did. The way this is worded it sounds like the Legislature is looking for another way to tax us & then spend the money the way they want, not the way we voted. Vote no.

SQ 696 – exempts storm shelters from property taxes. Provided, of course, that the shelter was built since January 1, 2002. Any built before that, too bad so sad. That there swings me towards the no side. Resubmit the question to voters allowing for all storm shelters, and I’ll be the first one in favor of it. But not this way.

SQ 698 – would make it much harder to bring state questions like Cockfighting 687 to a vote of the people. And I’m sure it’s sheer coincidence that this has a more recent SQ number than 687. No, no, no, no, no.

Governor – former Seattle Seahawk Steve Largent against State Senate Judiciary Chairman Brad Henry and self-made millionaire lawyer there’s-no-way-I-could-win-a-primary-in-either-party-so-I’m-gonna-run-as-an-Independent Gary Richardson. I was all for Richardson since his first commercials came out last year. Lottery, end the turnpikes, everything I wanted to hear. Then he aired that commercial that questioned Largent’s patriotism, especially about September 11th. Now I’ve never been crazy about Largent, but that was the ultimate low of all possible low blows. At this point if they had a State Question that would allow us to exile Richardson from Oklahoma permanently, I’d vote for it in a heartbeat.

As for the other two, for me it really comes down to one issue: a state lottery. I want one, the state’s educational system needs one, Henry is strongly in favor of one and Largent is adamantly against one. The fact that Largent is trying to backpedal now and say that he would nevertheless be willing to put it to a vote of the people comes too little too late for my tastes. Besides, I’m not convinced he’d still agree to do that after he became governor. I’m voting for Henry.

As far as other races, I haven’t totally decided yet, but I usually get my answer by election day: I look at whoever has campaign signs on my across-the-street-from-a-polling-place front yard without my permission, and vote for the other guy.

And that's my 6½ cents on the matter. To those of you who disagree with my views I say: lighten up!

And to those who still disagree and won't lighten up I say: get your own damn web site. 5:42am
 

» November 2002